Saturday, July 25, 2009

An ex-girlfriend of mine dedicated this song to me..
Its a malay song...
And she described some of my character through this song..
Someone who never shows anger to his love ones..
But when to the limit,he will just walk away and ignore..
Thats me..

Diammu Gunung Berapi By Exist

Timur,barat,selatan hingga utara.
Setiap saat tiap ketika.
Mencari tak berputus asa ku melangkah.
Terasa dekat boleh disentuh.
Namun hakikatnya kau terlalu jauh...

Engkau yang penyayang..
Pemaaf,pengasih..
Berkali engkau kukecewakan..
Ku tetap tak sesisih..

Kau bagiku bagai gerbang yang sentiasa terbuka..
Sabar dan tenang menanti setiap ketika...
Kalau pun marah tidak ketara..
Aku terus lupa hadirmu dipersia...

Tidakku sedari diammu gunung berapi,
Tiba-tiba sahaja meledak membinasakan semua...
Tiada lagi buatku gerbang terbuka,
Kesalan kuterlewat tiba..

Aku kini perahu tidak berdayung..
Ingin kau kudekati kusentuh,
Namun hakikatnya kau jauh...

To that special person who dedicated this song to me,
I know we were once together,
And now maybe you would want us to get back..
But I'm sorry to say,
I'm backing off for now..

And I appreciate that you noticed my character of silence before..
Thank you for the song..
Be in touch..

1:34 AM

Friday, July 24, 2009

Had an intense training yesterday...
So intense that I injured my knee and got knocked hard on the chest by a teammate's knee till I nearly passed out...
Wow...
Even someone as physically strong as me cannot stand such tremendous pain..
Damn..
After all that,had runs for 3 sets...
3 round a quarter of the field for 2 mins...
Freaking exhausting!!!
-_-"
Oh well,all that is for the good of our own performance..
No pain no gain.. haha..

Anyway,I had a talk with my bro,Wawan..
Talked about life's difficulties and all..

Every family has their own problems...
And some of us have a way of dealing with it...
Its either we don't care or we care...
I detest people who do not care of the welfare in their family..
I'd rather they don't be in a family if they are not ready to share the ups and downs of the household..
Frankly speaking,I know some "friends" who has this character...
I don't hate them but I hate their attitude towards all this..
But then,words won't work on them...

I had my big share of ups and downs in a family crisis..
And I can dare say that my family problems are unbearable for you guys who are reading this right now..
Maybe most of you may never understand...
And maybe some of you will say,"If its unbearable,how did you cope.?"
Simple...Its "mature thinking and will of responsibility.."
I had to cope most of my life with depression and hostilities ..
And many more..
I wont share much but this are just part of it...
I respect my mother so much for being to bear with my father for the past 3 decades of her life in this marriage of hers...
It hurts me so much to see her suffer so much in life without making her feel so accepted..
All that aside,I greatly thank her for bringing me into this world..
And I hope,with my existance I would make her life much more comfortable and happy...
God willing,I'm willing to sacrifice my life for her...
I swear...
I don't ask for money...
I don't ask for food and drinks...
All I ask from her is that she must always be in front of my eyes and never disappear...
I can't imagine the pain I would go through if she's not here with me....
I swear to God I can't imagine that unbearable pain...

The pay I got from my football career and my other job,
I use it to help out to pay some bills and groceries for the household...
And I rarely use the pay I got to enjoy with friends..
Altho I do once in while use some of it to watch movies or hang out with my brothers,
But I try to limit with the thought of my family in mind..
I'm not saying this to make myself proud..
I did and had done many several bad deeds myself...
But I know you guys think of family everyday too right..?

And for that,to all you guys who are reading this...
For all the sacrifices your parents made for you,
DO NOT,and I'll say it again,
DO NOT ever take advantage of their love towards you...
Although you may get all the money and things you ask from them now,
Remember and think,what if they were not there for you..?
Is money going to bring them back..?
With the chance of time that God has given you,
Use it to show and prove that you are in state that you are more thankful and not a spoiled brat who only thinks of asking money from your parents..
SHAME ON YOU who only thinks of self comfort....
Be more responsible and appreciate the hardwork that they have put themselves in to feed you..

I apologise to anyone who is hurt after reading this but I have to post this to put some sense to unappreciative people who don't respect their moms and dads,
Or simply put it,PARENTS...

I'll post my next post soon...
Thanks for reading..

Again I apologise...

With regards,
Dzul Dezarus..

5:31 AM

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Alright alright..
Things in life we should never take it for granted..

Why..?

Cause when you do,you become more and more useless in the coming future because of your own arrogance...

Well,time and time I advise people but sometimes things never go to their head..

Nevermind then....

Haha..

I speak,you decide and do the action..

Being someone recognised in every aspects is never easy..

Some people wants to take the easy way..

But have they ever thought that the 'easy way' makes your life more miserable and lost..

And thus,I prefer the hard way..

Where criticism is widespread and patience is importanise..

I had to go through the hard way to get myself on top..

And you know what? It pays...

I even cried for it...

And when you get what you dreamed of,you embrace it with pride and joy..

Cause all of that comes from great hardwork and hardship..
And all the sweat and tears you gave out paid its greatest rewards...

Again I would never take the easy way to success..

You'll dread and regret it..

Next,I would like to talk about my life...

Its been hectic...

Family tension and responsiblity is increasing...

Fact of growing up in a low-income family...

As the eldest son in the house after my two big brothers got married,

I carried a big responsibilty of giving assurance of comfort in the family..

Yeah...

It feels too early as someone as young as me to carry such responsibility..

But I'm proud of it..

It feels like I've become a real man..

Thus it shows in my character...

And my football life,

It has been going well..

I'm becoming more of a regular player in the team...

Much praises and words of advise came..

I cried in last week's game because of the disappointment of my performance in the game..

I only scored a goal..

But that was not good enough for a win..

We lost 2-1 in the game against Geylang United...

Had a chance to go against an S.League defender..

Guess what?

He's not even near the standard against mine i guess..

But still,we lost..

Great disappointment i had on myself..

Gotta buck up and work harder..

Get that brain and muscles moving..

This time much more intense than before..

Haha..

Alright...

Anyway,been thinking of signing on as a policeman...

Still thinking though..

Any ideas and advise..??

Tag me yeah...

Alright then,

I'll post again next time...

Till then..

Woots...

"I Love My Hair"

HAHAHA! xD

12:28 AM

Friday, July 17, 2009

Yay!!
I finally can make this hairstyle..
Woohoo!!

Soon,maybe in the next 2 months,my hair would be longer..

Hahhaha..

Highlighting my hair soon..

Weehoo!!!

i miss you Ana Farhana..

Altho I'm trying my best not too...

*sigh*

4:02 AM

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Ok this might sound a little jiwang...
But I cant bear this animore...

Bersamamu ku lewati,
Lebih dari seribu malam...
Bersamamu yang ku mahu,
Namun kenyataannya tak sejalan...

Tuhan bila masih ku diberi kesempatan,
Izinkan aku untuk mencintanya...
Namun bila waktu ku telah habis dengannya...
Biar cinta hidup saja...

Terlerai kini ikatan yang dijanji..
Lalu aku sendiri lagi..
Sekian lama bersama,
Kita terpisah..
Terasa kini semua keperitannya..

Bercinta semua milik bersama...
sehingga tak mengira peribadi..
Tak pernah ku mengguris meluka hati...
Suratan yang menentukan ku harus sendiri..

Sukarnya untuk aku melupakan..
Terasa kini bagai kegelapan..
Aku pun dapat merasakan pengoranan ku sia-sia..
Yang terpaksa melepaskan semuanya..
Harus aku yang dipersalahkan...?

4:52 PM

Monday, July 13, 2009

Guyz!!

New phone!!

HAHAHA...

WOOHOO!!

After getting my bonus pay from my club,

I bought a new personal device for myself...

Samsung Preston S5600..

Its touch screen!!

Abang-abang touch-screen skrang...~~HAHA!

Woo..
Its looks like this one below...

So guyz,I have a new number now...

So if you guyz want it,tag me on my tagboard..

I'll give to you..

But don't delete my old number..

Cause I'll be using both..

Hee..

So yea...

Reaching my goals and with hardwork..

Chiows!!

2:13 AM

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Dude,I'm An Emo!!!
Hahaha..
Wth..

I'm Not Larh..
Sorry Ehk..
I Just Like To Pen Down My Feelings Thats All..

People Call Me The God Of Smiling for A Reason..
You People Should Obviously Know Why...
HAHAHA..

Ok Dah...!

10:35 PM

Thursday, July 2, 2009

I can't believe you had the nerve to say the things you said..
They hurt so bad that they ended our relationship..
I can't believe it, 3 and half months gone down the drain..
How I wish things would have happened so differently..
I tried to save as many times but still you couldn't see..
You kept insisting and resisting that you would not fall again..
Now I just wouldn't wanna try...

4:37 PM

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?

Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?

When they know they're your heart,

And you know you were their armour..

And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her..

But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?

And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?

What happens when you become the main source of her pain..?

I don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you moving..

I know when you in the house or when you cruisin..

It's been proven, my love you abusing..

Undecided, I came and provided..

My undivided, you came and denied..

Just keep it on the low..

Cause my heart can't take it anymore......

2:54 AM

Another day has gone

I'm still all alone

How could this be that you're not here with me..?

You never said goodbye..

Someone tell me why did you have to go,

And leave my world so cold...

Everyday I sit and ask myself,

How did love slip away..?

Constantly girl you're on my mind...

And girl I think about you all of the time..

And eventhough words are hard to say,

Girl I miss you, never thought I'd feel this way...

If you keep on taking,

My heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?

You know how I'm feeling,

Its you I believe in..

Baby can't you see that I need you...??

You know that its true,

Everytime I see your face I miss you baby..

You know that its you,

I want to let you know you're driving me crazy..

I'd do anything to help you to see,

I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.

You know that its true..

Every now and then I want to call you baby.

You know that its you..

I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady..

Life ain't anything alone cant you see..?

You're an angel in my eyes everyday...

2:08 AM

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Friday, July 17, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Monday, July 13, 2009

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Thursday, July 2, 2009

WHO AM I

JUKEBOX

BUDDIES

CHAT LARR!

PAST!