Monday, March 30, 2009
Well Its My Birthday Today....
What Can I Say.....
12:48 AM
Friday, March 27, 2009
The weather is quite nice these days..
Especially for games of football and "sepak takraw"...
Such times in which I get to be with my brothers and share our problems and chats...
How I love those guyz...
They are the only people who understands and accepts who and what I am...
I sincerely from the bottom of my heart,I LOVE YOU brothers...
You guyz are my 3rd family after my blood family and my foster family...
When I was down and fallen,you guyz gave me the strength and confidence to go on...
Thanks dudes...
I wish and hopefully God give you guyz the happiness of this world always...
In addition,whenever all of ya are in need of help,I'll be around...
Trust me on that....
I always keep my promise...
On the other note,
I'm still striving to keep my dreams alive...
An S.League player...
Working hard till my limbs are all tired out...
Haha...
As always lar....
The experience of playing with the best in Singapore is unexplainable..
You get to learn new tips and other tricks of the trade of football..
And you'll also learn their true character outiside of the field...
One example is Indra Sahdan Daud,the legendary Singapore striker...
In the field,he will train like a hound but outside of the pitch,he will change into a different person..
He will laugh like a small kid and jump around like a child although he is now over 28 years old...
Imagine that...
At such a mature age married with 2 children,he still have that sense of fun and childishness in him...
Ahaha..
The eyes can be easily decieved by the cover of the book...
Back to my brothers,
You guyz will always be close to heart...
We will alwaes be brothers....
2:28 PM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I can't believe the trauma that I'm in...
I feel the pressure..
Its coming down on me,
And its turning me black and blue....
I can't believe the troubles that you've caused..
The pain is getting stronger,
Like an open wound without the gauze..
Its on my brain,
Driving me insane..
Its on my mind all of the time
And if it left I would define...
Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit..
Everytime I try to get myself up back upon my feet..
Everything is so blurry and everyone's so fake...
And everybody is empty and everything is so messed up..
Can anyone take all these pain away from me...?!
12:05 PM
Monday, March 23, 2009
Gotta use this lonely time to change the picture in this frame of life of mine.....
Percikan cinta dan curahan kasih menjadi tiang seri mahligai sejati..
Dan kasih sayang yang tidak terperi memberi cahaya yang menyala sepanjang hari...
Time seems to be short these days...
And I'm starting to reach to the point of limitations of my own energy level..
I can't believe my hyper-activeness is fading away!!
ARGH!
Hahah...
Now due to too much football,my legs are tired out..
Both my foot are having strains..
My knee is weakened...
And my neck aches alot..
But my mind is not even tired....
Its just pushing and pushing....
Wah...Mental strength i think they call it..
Hahaha..
I'm such a busy guy these days...
Wonder if it will be much worse in the future...
Cause if it does,I'll have no time at all for serious relationships...
Cause maybe my girlfriend would get fed-up of me...
Hmm...
AHHA..
I guess so..
Well,with all that yadayada,
I would like to tell about what I did yesterday...
Had a team briefing with the S.League squad at 8am..
Supposed to have training after that,but 'cabot'..Hahaha..
Then had a game with FCAJ brothers at Pasir Ris Crest Sec at 11am...
We won 3-2 although the pitch sucks to the core...
I got so fed up that I felt lazy to even play to my best..HAHAHA
I can't even control the ball propery man...!!
Next,went to meet my adek beradek angkat at Marsiling...
Played sepak takraw till 1am..
Went back home with my bro Ian and his newly found girlfriend...
Looking at them,I smiled...
How sweet they were holding hands...
I remembered how I did the same thing to my girlfriend a year ago..
Now,its just memories..
Ahahah...
Reached home at 2.30am..
What am I supposed to do with all the blues....
Hmm...
7:31 PM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
These are the days...
When all that I can do is dream...
But I don't want to spend forever living in the in between...
I'm stuck here in a place without love...
And I just can't let it stay this way...
But for now I'm going to have to face it....
I realise I'm changing...Again...
Thats the effect of thinking too much...
I just can't help it...
But I know I'm still standing on reality....
4:29 PM
Thursday, March 12, 2009
"I WANT TO SEE THE UNEXPECTED FROM YOU ISHAM!! "
Thats what the S.League coach,Jorge shouted to me in training...
He's showing me that he knows I am much better than what he sees...
I'll prove it to you coach....
I'll grasp the chance that you'll give me..
Don't stop moving forward....
1:48 AM
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Yesterday's game was a trajedy for me...
It was the worse game of my life...
Altho I only played for a certain 2o mins but it was enough to leave a bad impression on the S.League coach...
*sigh*
I've been feeling sumthin is missing in my life..
Why........?
8:48 AM
Monday, March 2, 2009
After one distress,came another problem that makes my head ache so much..
Damn it...
Today's training was cancelled due to heavy rain..
That really stressed me as I was planning to throw out all of my distresses int the field...
But maybe God does not permit it..
*sigh*
After that,got to know one of my own teammate bad mouthed me to the others...
I got so down that I don't feel like socialising or speaking to anyone...
I gotta have my own time these days...
I have to plan myself for the worse...
My studies,career and family...
I have to get prepared...
Especially NS...
Soon,getting my pay cheque..
Gotta give some of it to my mum...
Nak dapat berkat katekn..
Altho she doesnt ask for it..
Next,new soccer boots...
Aiming for Predator Or AdiPure...
Or maybe Nike T90 Laser 2..
Still deciding though...
Wah..
Kinda jealous nowadays actually...
Most of my friends hae their own couple..
While I'm here stranded without anyone..
Aniway,Im not that desperate...
But I jus envy them...
They usually question me when I will have someone by my side..
I just smiled and said,"Insyaallah..."
They say I'm good-looking and all...
But looks does not really matter in reality..
I sumtimes hate my natural look..
But maybe theres a reason God gave me this ggift..
Syukur Alhamdulillah...
As for now,I'm gonna walk through loneliness for quite some time again..
Until,that wonderful day comes...
I'll just wait and move along...
11:35 PM
Never stop working hard and think positively..
I've had countless advises from two of the most experienced footballers in Singapore..
Yea..Both by Legends Indra Sahdan And Aide Iskandar..
By looking at their way of lifes,I took it as an example for my own life...
Willpower,Discipline And Dedication In Your Passion..
From now on,my mind will be focused...
Very focused to be exact..
I don't wish to take everyday for granted..
I don't want to disappoint myself again..
Just then again..
I think a misunderstanding happened between me and her again..
*sigh*
How and why could this happen...?
I myself am confused..
Maybe she heard alot of bad things about me...?
Just maybe..
Maybe bcos I was quite a flirt when I was secondary school..?
Well,I admit I was once...
But nevermind...
Its useless talking when they don't really see it for themselves..
This is why it is never easy to prove to others that you have changed..
For the better to be exact...
Alright then...
Believe what you may want to believe..
I can never change anyone's perception unless they want to change for themselves...
Fine then...
I'll keep silent...
If that is you want...
You're a headstrong girl...
I respect that...
I on the other hand,am a strong-willed guy...
May you realise what I truly am someday...
I am not what you could possibly realise...
I hope you have the best for yourself..
I'll be around when needed...
PS:Only the truth can speak out...
11:54 AM