Saturday, April 25, 2009
Clutching My Cure...
I'm Trying To Catch My Breath Again....
2:08 AM
Everyone feels so far away from me..
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me...
Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit...
Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet..
All I ever think about is this,
All the tiring time between,
And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me...
I am a little bit insecure,a little unconfident...
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense...
I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt..
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out...
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do...
Face away and pretend that I'm not...
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got...
I don't want to be the one,the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused...
I'll paint it on the walls...
'Cause I'm the one at fault...
I'll never fight again and this is how it ends...
1:28 AM
Monday, April 20, 2009
Its empty and cold without you here...
Too many people to ache over...
He who makes a BEAST out of himself,
Is rid of the pain of being a MAN....
2:26 PM
I've been feeling restless...
I miss her so much...
Haiz....
I can't wait till we could meet up again dear...
I just love you so much...
Altho maybe you wouldn't believe me on that...
How my heart aches when I knew that first hand...
Well,patience Dzulhisham....
Visibilty of my sincerity is within my heart....
Maybe you can't see it yet....
I missed you so much Ana...
Moving on...
After game against Geylang United,
I realise I am improving in my game...
I'm playing quite well that day....
And I nearly scored my first GOALl!!
Alhamdulillah...
Well after the game,I asked Coach Aide what I need to improve on...
Awareness,First touch and Confidence...
These are the things I need to work on...
It takes time but I'll do my best...
I will not be on my comp for quite some time...
As I'll be busy looking after my injury...
and my mum too...
PS: Sayang,I think of you everyday....
1:57 PM
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Why...?
Why must such things happen again...?
Why must I be in such dilemma again...?
Now,I'd best keep silent...
I don't blame her...
I understand her feelings...
Why must such things happen again...?
Why must I be in such dilemma again...?
Now,I'd best keep silent...
I don't blame her...
I understand her feelings...
But why must I always be caught in between again...
I just don't understand why...
Don't you trust me?
Don't you believe in me...?
I told you every honest answers that you wanted...
I wanted you to understand...
I don't want you to be calling me a LIAR...
I'm not.....
Please I'm not...
For every second that passes by,I want you to be happy...
I wanted you to know that I never take advantage of anyone...
Buy why...
I'm starting to get in a state of stress again...
It seems like deja vu again...
And how my heart ache so much...
Thinking that someone whom I love is hurt....
I'd rather keep silent...
I want you to be calm and happy...
But baby,you are not alone..
Altho we're far apart...
You're always in heart...
Its your choice now....
Trust me or don't trust me....
I've had enough of begging for someone's trust like before...
I love you and thats final...
1:44 AM
Friday, April 17, 2009
I've been feeling really tired these days...
Wow...
Morning and afternoon training....
It really take its toll on your body...
My legs are aching...
And I even got a hard knock on my previous fractured area...
Scary man....
I thought I'm gonna fracture my leg again...
Taknak siol....
Saket nak mampos...
Boleh nangis sak...
I'm still recovering from my knee injury still...
It still has sharp pains in it whenever I try to accelerate in my runs...
Damn...
I need more strengthening...
And I need to make my body much stronger...
So that I can challenge those freaking big defenders...
Well,things are going well for me in training...
I'm starting to get my pace back...
My confidence on the ball is also slowly coming back...
My touches is improving...
My hardwork is paying off slowly...
But I can't slack back now...
You can never say you're good enough...
There's always something to work on...
And now,I need to work on my headings,first touch and finishing....
I'm a striker man...My finishing should be much lethal than other outfield players....
I'll strive for the best for the present and future....
I'll never stop training hard...
3:46 AM
You are my only one and my everything...
2:39 AM
And as those precious time and moments passes,I look back at those times...
Haha...
How wonderful....
And how unexpected...
It felt like it happened only just yesterday....
Now,everything is becoming more clearer to me...
With the presence of a precious diamond in my heart..
After a year and a half being ONLY friends...
With NO intentions of being lovers...
And its just unexpected...
Once before,I became a friend who gives advises to a friend in need,
when she feels down or having problems with situations...
And yeah,I kinda like a part time adviser and part time irritater..
But soon,she became silent...
Yeah..
She was working..
I could understand that...
Haha..
As friends,I missed talking to her...
Missed talking crap...
Missed BULLSHIT-ing with her...
She likes to call me a footballhead...( I'm a footballer as the name
states..haha..)
I call her KETOD!... ( Actually at that point of time,I didnt know whether she was small or not..)
I only missed her as a close friend at that point of time..
Until then one day...
She sms-ed me after 2/3 months of silence...
At that point,I was actually wondering if both of us could actually meet up...
Before I could ask that question,she asked first...Haha..
What a coincidence.....
After that moment,our relationship became much more closer...
I was telling myself before,not to fall in love...
But then,something about her struck my head...
Not her beauty..Not her hair or anything....
Its her personality...
It attracts me to her more and more every hour of seeing her...
In much aspects of her character,every part of her persona signifies me..
For that,I realise we had alot of common grounds...
In our way of life...
And in our way of dealing life...
It all much the same...
I was surprised to actually meet someone of the opposite sex to have the same persona as me...
So when I got to know all this,I became excited...
And...SERIOUSLY HAPPY...
All my life I've been searching for that one person who is the exact copy of my own persona..
Who could really stand my awkwardness and craziness...
Who understands that love is not always about physical intimacy but also about heart to heart intimacy...
All right,from there you guyz know what happened...
Yeah...
I really fell head over heels for her....
It happened so fast...
And now,I really love her so much...
Although we're not always close in distance,but we are always close in heart...
She became the new-found strength for me to strive further in life...
All my life I've been praying for someone like you...
And I pray that you feel the same way too...
Ana Farhana...I'll put my heart and soul into you...
I thank God I finally found you...
Ana Farhana...You'll be my light from now on...
May we be blessed with wonderful years in the future...
And always be together both in our heart and soul....
I really love you my dearest sayang....
1:24 AM
Monday, April 13, 2009
This Video Is Specially Dedicated To My Sayang,Farhana....
Hee..
Enjoy...
3:23 PM
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Kita manusia biasa,tak lari dari suka duka..
Ikhlas dan kejujuran..
Perjuangan,pengorbanan,
Itu satu dorongan...
Ku disanjung dan dipuji...
Tak kurang dihina dan dikeji...
Tabahkanlah hidup ini..
Bagi ia yang mengerti cabaran yang mengharungiku...
Anugerah Tuhan tak siapa yang tahu..
Esok lusa siapalah aku...?
Bersyukur pada Illahi..
Penghormatanku pada smua..
Yang hilang akan berganti..
Yang patah akan bertumbuh lagi...
Itulah resam dunia...
1:45 AM
Friday, April 10, 2009
I finally found that someone who I really need in my life...
She opened my heart to love again after so long with her honesty,her sincerity and dedication...
Someone who is strong in her religion...
Someone who really respects her elders...
And someone who knows and only dedicates herself to the person whom she loves...
Farhana...
I never thought since that moment you open up my heart..
You gave me confidence that this emptiness I'm in is gone...
I promise ,I will protect this love of ours always....
I will always be loyal...
But please,don't make all the love that I give be wasted...
I will go every road that lies ahead with confidence just for you..
Believe me....
I promise.....
Farhana...You'll be my everything in my life...
1:02 AM
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Pergilah rinduku..
Hilangkan dirimu..
Tak sanggup menanggung derita di kalbuku...
Dan,pabila esok datang kembali seperti sediakala di mana kau bisa bercanda..
Dan perlahan kau pun lupakan aku,mimpi burukmu,
Di mana telah ku tancapkan duri tajam...
Dan bukan maksudku,bukan inginku melukaimu..
Sadarkah kau di sini ku pun terluka,melupakanmu dan menepikanmu..
Lupakanlah saja diriku bila itu bisa membuatmu kembali bersinar dan berpijar seperti dulu kala...
Caci maki saja diriku bila itu bisa membuatmu kembali bersinar berpijar seperti dulu kala..
Maafkan daku,izinkan ku pergi...
1:43 AM
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I've been training so hard...
But still I've not reach the level that I wanted...
I need to work even harder now....
Even The Best Fall Down Sometimes...
Next game against Balestier Khalsa FC...
On Sunday,5pm at Toa Payoh Stadium....
Come and watch it if you guyz want to...
I'll be the one with the jersey printed with the name "Dzul Sham" on the back...
I'm choosing between choices of love in my life...
I'm confused...
I don't want to hurt any party...
Some are even waiting for me and still hoping...
I don't want any of them to be hoping for me...
Haiz...
I'm in a tight situation...
Between love choices of my life....
Who?
Who should I choose...?
I have no idea...
Guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.......
But still I've not reach the level that I wanted...
I need to work even harder now....
Even The Best Fall Down Sometimes...
Next game against Balestier Khalsa FC...
On Sunday,5pm at Toa Payoh Stadium....
Come and watch it if you guyz want to...
I'll be the one with the jersey printed with the name "Dzul Sham" on the back...
I'm choosing between choices of love in my life...
I'm confused...
I don't want to hurt any party...
Some are even waiting for me and still hoping...
I don't want any of them to be hoping for me...
Haiz...
I'm in a tight situation...
Between love choices of my life....
Who?
Who should I choose...?
I have no idea...
Guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.......
1:52 AM
Friday, April 3, 2009
I've been hearing this song titled "Warisan Wanita Terakhir"..
Wow...
Such a meaningful song...
It tells about character of women in the world...
And how most men can be fallen not for the looks but from the beauty within...
Its great..Seriously...
And the singer sang it with utmost quality and expression...
Voice was great...
Now,it has become one of my fav song!!!
Woohoo...
And thus this song dedicated to every girls and women out there...
Hehe...
Especially those whom I know...
Listen and understand it...
hee
5:50 AM