Saturday, June 27, 2009

Wow...
Last night was such a "kecoh night"..
Spend more than 12 hours with my bros at Marsiling and Republic Poly Basketball Court..
Dude..
It feels great mayne...
Laughing,playing football,playing cards and all..
From 4pm till now...
I'm not even asleep yet...
HAH!!
-_-"

I'm keeping too much inside larh...
My face don't alwaes show what i feel...
Those close to me knows that..
Cause I'm a smiley freak!
But yeah...
Aching heart...
Anger building up constantly like a silent volcano waiting to erupt....

Rela hati perhatikan sikapmu.....

Frankly speaking,
I feel like crushing something right now...
Something solid...
Something breakable...
I WANT TO SNAP!!!
But not yet....
Not yet....
Sabar gek...
Tunggu masa dulu...
Jangan sampai dilepaskan dendam...
Tak bagus...

Things happen but we don't really know why...

8:19 AM

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Let me openly say...

Even devils like me cry tears...
Cause of the heart that has been embeded within myself..
The heart that shows reality and existence...
The reality that depicts the cruelty of existence..
And the existence that poets how beautiful life can be...

So again i say...
Even DEVILS like me may cry for an existence of life...
And that is what humans call LOVE...

Thus LOVE makes the circle of life INFINITE...

*i wrote this with the intention of expressing..

6:39 AM

Monday, June 22, 2009

A Song Dedication...

A song dedication to Ana...
Something I promised her on her birthday...
Its quite due but I guess I still have to fulfil my promise..
So yeah....
Enjoy...

8:35 AM

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I've been posting shit lately...
I've deleted some of them...

Kinda stressed out these days...
Gotta get my feet back on the ground....
And let football do all the talking...
WOOTS~

7:20 PM

Saturday, June 20, 2009

You know it beats me how people control their emotions...

Some obviously do not know how to...

I don't know why I should talk about this...

But hey...

Maybe for expressing means..

Heck...

So yeah...

I kinda not getting sleep that well..

Too much thinking I guess...

Alas I fell asleep at around 8am in the morning...

Shocking huh...

Yeah....

I was on the phone with someone from 1am till 5am..

Talking about things...

I just needed someone to talk to to...

Yup..

I got to know some things about myself that obviously is and literally true..

I am an UNDECISIVE PERSON....

I WANT TO PLEASE EVERYONE BUT I HURT MYSELF IN THE PROCESS ALWAYS....

And my biggest weakness is that I ACTUALLY CARE TOO MUCH...

and that too in the end hurt my own self..

sigh...

Well...

I accept the fact that I am such a person..

Its never easy larh..

I have no one these days to talk to...

I feel down sometimes...

Luckily there are things that pull me away from all that tension..

I FEEL LIKE SHOUTING MY LUNGS OUT!!!

seriously....

Damn...

8:12 PM

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Yo..

ok guyz...

For ur info...

My right knee is officially damaged...

I had a splintered bone around the joint area...

But who cares..

No one cares..

Even she doesnt cares...

sigh..

And later I'll be going to the hospital to have a check up right after sending my mum for her check up too..
Don't worry..

My profession as a football player won't halt..

Injuries to me are all souvenirs of life for me..

Dude,i miss her so much..

Every day and every night..

But till now every word i said always seems wrong to her..

Hmm...

All I need is just a little patience...

"Setiap kesabaran ada anugerahnya..."

But that question i asked,to me its never wrong...

Its fine with me if you said "No"..

Or maybe a "Yes"..

Is it that difficult...?

sigh..

Nights so cold without your flame...

I just feel un-needed...

Aside from that...
I'm having this chronic illness called Insomnia right now...

It prevents people from sleeping and all..

My head is spinning right now...

Urgh...

I just hoped she understand my heart has always been sincere..

I just need that trust and attention...

**Change that mentality of yours my dear...

4:54 AM

Monday, June 15, 2009

Pada sayangku Farhana...
Selamat Ulang Tahun Sayang...
I love you so much...
From the depths of my heart...
The song above is for you..
Please listen to it..
Forgive my mistakes in the past..
I love you...

11:43 PM

Words can't express what you mean to me..

Eventhough you're gone,we're still a team..

To your family I'll fulfil your dreams....

In the future can't wait to see,

If you open up the gates for me..

Reminince some time...

The night they took my friend..

Tried to black it out but it plays again...

When this rift feels hard to conceal,

Can't imagine all the pain I feel..

Give everything here half your breath..

I know you still living your life after death..

We miss you....

8:45 AM

In Memory Of A Close Friend Who Have Gone To Meet The Creator..

Al-Fatihah...

Ahmad Rizal Bin Abdul Ghani..

You my brother was a one of the most special people on my life..
All the laughter and joy you have given us will always be remembered...
All the mistakes you have ever done we will always forgive...
And for me,losing such a close friend and brother is a very emotional thing for myself...
I had always loved you like my own brother and family...
It made an impact on me so hard that I feel I can't let you go..
And by God's permission,you left holding my hands..
Such honour for me to let me be the last to be by your side when you left...
With all my heart,we miss you...
We miss you...
As I wrote this,tears are falling just like falling tiaras...
May your soul be blessed..

14/6/1990-3/6/2009

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama yang beriman...

8:35 AM

Friday, June 12, 2009

FARHANA!!!

I'm feeling nervous and unstable all over~~~

I'm to blame for all this...

*sigh*

3:14 AM

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Its 6.24am right now...

I just cant sleep...

I've been thinking of her non-stop...

Did I make a mistake of letting go...?

Cause I'm feeling the pain of emptiness without her...

I just really need her..

That smile..

I need to see it...

Please...

I'm falling...

I'm falling too deep...

I don't care anymore...

I just can't live without knowing that she's by my side...

Damn it!!

What have I been doing...?!

I thought my decision would resolve problems...

But the fact is,I'm bringing pain upon myself...

I'm going CRAZY!!!

I'm probably not that strong after all..

My days are so cold and lonely...

Each night I taste the purest of pain...

You mean a lot to me....

Too much....

6:08 AM

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Lying in your arms...

So close together...

Didn't know just what I had...

Now I toss and turn..

Cause I'm without you...

How I'm missing you so bad...

Where was my head...?

Where was my heart...?

Now I cry alone in the dark...

I lie awake...
I drive myself crazy...
Drive myself crazy..

Thinking of you..

Made a mistake..

When I let you go baby..

I drive myself crazy...

Wanting you the way that I do....

I was such a fool..
I couldn't see it....

Just how good you were to me..

You confessed your love..

Undying devotion...

I confessed my need to be free..

And now I'm left..

With all this pain..

I've only got myself to blame...

Why didn't I know it..?

How much I loved you baby...

Why couldn't I show it..?

If I had only told you...

When I had the chance...

Oh I had the chance...

11:57 PM

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I cant believe you had the nerve to say the things you said...

They hurt so bad that they ended our relationship....

How I wish things would have happen so differently..

I tried to save as many times but still you couldnt see..

You kept insisting and resisting that you would not fall again....

4:43 AM

Monday, June 8, 2009

Constantly girl you're on my mind...
Girl I think of you all of the time...
And eventhough words are hard to say...
Girl I miss you..
Never thought I'd feel this way...

If you keep on taking,my heart you'll be breaking..
So why do you do this to me..?

Nobody is there when i call your name..
and nights so cold girl without your flame...
But if i could girl,I'd make you see,
That I'm sorry..

10:57 PM

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Telah jauh terpisah diriku dan dirimu,

dalam ruang dan waktu...

Sendiri ku jalani sepiku tanpa dirimu...

Resahku tanpa hadirmu...

Sungguh berat hatiku merasakannya...

Bukannya ingin merantai dirimu..

Ataupun mengikat janji..

Masih ada banyak lagi harus kau pelajari..

Aku ingin kemesraan serta senyum keramahan..

Biar kekal berterusan tak hilang di tengah jalan...

4:45 AM

Monday, June 1, 2009

Last night,been taking all my stresses in the world out in the court..

Had a good game of 'sepak takraw' all night...

We had a good and loud laugh too..

HAHA..

And I look good in this video..

Im in the white shirt..

hehe..

After the games,we had pictures taken...

I pestered them into it..

HAHA...

These are some of the pics of some of my bros and me...

me at the centre with white shirt..

The abg2 brothers...hahaha

posing for our latest album,'Kau jahannam malamku..."AHAHA

Smile WIDE!!!!( exceptional for Wan who looks gay behind.. )haha

For the first time in my life as a man,Danial carried me like a chic..HAHA!

BERUANG!!!ARGH!!!

I'm Gonna Kick Your Arse!!!

Thats just some of the pics..

My bros..

They always put a smile on my face..

And they understand why sometimes I get really crazy...

I love you guyz dudes..

2:14 AM