Friday, February 27, 2009
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My friends and brothers call me one of the craziest person in Singapore..
They also know that I can be the most knowledgeable person about religion,life,the world,the supernatural and lots more...
They either call me an "Ustaz" or a "Freak" when in the crazy state...
Hahaha..
In fact last night,they made me feel accepted and proud of my own self..
They accepted the different sides of me..
They knew of my compassionate side and serious side..
And even my craziest side....
But the thing they praised me the most was my father-figure side...
Danial,one of my brothers,praised my high patience and morality..
He said this,
"Sham,dalam banyak kawan aku ada,kaulah satu satunye yang aku kenal kesabarannye betul2 tinggi..First time aku kenal kau,aku ingat kau ni orang giler mane entah..Tapi sebenarnye kau ni hati mulia ehk...Aku bangga dapat kawan macam kau..."
I smiled and said,
"Alhamdulillah,pengalaman hidup ajar aku macam2 bro..."
Yes,my life experience has thought me alot...
Extreme sufferings,death,family violence and crimes...
I have honestly faced it all..
For a normal person,they would not usually think through what they have done...
As for me,I thank God for opening my heart early or I would be bringing destruction upon myself..
Honestly,thinking about the past would bring tears to my eyes..
All the past visions of violence and sufferings I have gone through is unspeakable...
Then,my other brother,Ian said,
"Sham,macamane kau boleh tahan ngan ni semua uh..Klau aku,aku da jadi gila siol...Aku tak faham uh kau...Cam gini pon kau bleh senyum..Orang kutuk2 kau pon kau layankan..Kau bleh senyum lagi..Klau aku,aku da sepak siol..."
Next he said,
"Tapi kau,Dan ngan Man lah yang aku harap boleh bimbing aku ke jalan yang benar...Aku nak belajar dari kaulah Sham...Segila gila kau pon,kau orang nye baik sangat hati...Aku heran lah..."
You know what?
When he said that,I felt myself wanting to cry..
I know maybe you guyz think that I'm emotional but thats what I am..
For me,its never wrong to show emotions...
We're human after all..
Thinking back,my heart feels both sad and happy..
I have changed alot throughout my life..
I'm glad people realised and praised who I am..
It shows how people appreciates me..
And it shows how much people accepts me...
The past should change you for the future...
But it depends on how you want the past to change you..
I thank God for giving me this journey of learning...
Life is valuable,treasure it..
Don't waste it on the thought of only enjoying and pleasure...
Yes,we're still young..
But what if the day comes when you're going to face death..
Do you still want to have fun dying...?
"The more you enjoy,the more suffering succumbs you..Limit yourself.."
I have quoted that to many of my friends..
But many can't accept it...
They still have the stereotype thinking of only enjoying life is important..
I would always reply that enjoying is part of life...
But have you ever thought of enjoying when facing the thought of difficulties..?
Many people will surrender to the thoughts of difficulties...
They have a weak willpower and faith...
Their mind are clouded with only happiness in mind...
But how can we have true happiness when we can't even face difficulties and sufferings...
No matter how beautiful life is,never take it for granted...
Praise it with limitations...
True pleasure comes from within...
For me,I enjoy life...
Everyone does..But I do it in a different way...
I make myself happy by becoming crazy..
At the same time,entertaining others...
In that moment of craziness,all the stress of the world would disappear slowly..
But when my friends need my advises,I would give the best for them..
Many would ask questions and I would answer them with true logic..
Cause with logic,people would understand better..
And thats where,they will start wondering about the facts..
Again,I'm glad they truely accepted who I am...
To that special person,
Give me a chance and I'll prove it to you...
But its always your choice...
I know its difficult for me and you...
This is reality...
They also know that I can be the most knowledgeable person about religion,life,the world,the supernatural and lots more...
They either call me an "Ustaz" or a "Freak" when in the crazy state...
Hahaha..
In fact last night,they made me feel accepted and proud of my own self..
They accepted the different sides of me..
They knew of my compassionate side and serious side..
And even my craziest side....
But the thing they praised me the most was my father-figure side...
Danial,one of my brothers,praised my high patience and morality..
He said this,
"Sham,dalam banyak kawan aku ada,kaulah satu satunye yang aku kenal kesabarannye betul2 tinggi..First time aku kenal kau,aku ingat kau ni orang giler mane entah..Tapi sebenarnye kau ni hati mulia ehk...Aku bangga dapat kawan macam kau..."
I smiled and said,
"Alhamdulillah,pengalaman hidup ajar aku macam2 bro..."
Yes,my life experience has thought me alot...
Extreme sufferings,death,family violence and crimes...
I have honestly faced it all..
For a normal person,they would not usually think through what they have done...
As for me,I thank God for opening my heart early or I would be bringing destruction upon myself..
Honestly,thinking about the past would bring tears to my eyes..
All the past visions of violence and sufferings I have gone through is unspeakable...
Then,my other brother,Ian said,
"Sham,macamane kau boleh tahan ngan ni semua uh..Klau aku,aku da jadi gila siol...Aku tak faham uh kau...Cam gini pon kau bleh senyum..Orang kutuk2 kau pon kau layankan..Kau bleh senyum lagi..Klau aku,aku da sepak siol..."
Next he said,
"Tapi kau,Dan ngan Man lah yang aku harap boleh bimbing aku ke jalan yang benar...Aku nak belajar dari kaulah Sham...Segila gila kau pon,kau orang nye baik sangat hati...Aku heran lah..."
You know what?
When he said that,I felt myself wanting to cry..
I know maybe you guyz think that I'm emotional but thats what I am..
For me,its never wrong to show emotions...
We're human after all..
Thinking back,my heart feels both sad and happy..
I have changed alot throughout my life..
I'm glad people realised and praised who I am..
It shows how people appreciates me..
And it shows how much people accepts me...
The past should change you for the future...
But it depends on how you want the past to change you..
I thank God for giving me this journey of learning...
Life is valuable,treasure it..
Don't waste it on the thought of only enjoying and pleasure...
Yes,we're still young..
But what if the day comes when you're going to face death..
Do you still want to have fun dying...?
"The more you enjoy,the more suffering succumbs you..Limit yourself.."
I have quoted that to many of my friends..
But many can't accept it...
They still have the stereotype thinking of only enjoying life is important..
I would always reply that enjoying is part of life...
But have you ever thought of enjoying when facing the thought of difficulties..?
Many people will surrender to the thoughts of difficulties...
They have a weak willpower and faith...
Their mind are clouded with only happiness in mind...
But how can we have true happiness when we can't even face difficulties and sufferings...
No matter how beautiful life is,never take it for granted...
Praise it with limitations...
True pleasure comes from within...
For me,I enjoy life...
Everyone does..But I do it in a different way...
I make myself happy by becoming crazy..
At the same time,entertaining others...
In that moment of craziness,all the stress of the world would disappear slowly..
But when my friends need my advises,I would give the best for them..
Many would ask questions and I would answer them with true logic..
Cause with logic,people would understand better..
And thats where,they will start wondering about the facts..
Again,I'm glad they truely accepted who I am...
To that special person,
Give me a chance and I'll prove it to you...
But its always your choice...
I know its difficult for me and you...
This is reality...
5:15 AM